love letters part I

XX <xx@gmail.com>                                                                                      3 de set (9 dias atrás)

para XY

Just be happy no matter what we can explore and as long as we’re being happy that’s all we could want from each other. Ill try to plan to come visit once yoga starts and just let me know if I shouldn’t come anymore and emotional and physical connections are different with everyone and until we begin to feel uncomfortable with the deepness of our relationship because of someone else then we can really bring it up. The last thing I want is for you to think of me as an obstacle or a hindrance of your happiness I just want to be there to lift you higher into it. And this will be difficult it won’t be easy but if we can continue the incredible communication we’ve achieved so far I think we have a real chance of being in each others lives forever and for real. As active members in them even though we’re already so changed from each other that this would be obvious.

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I’m so proud of you and am so amazed at already how much you’ve matured and become open to new things as compared to when we first met. And I’m sure there’s a million and one things you’ve changed in me and I can name patience, perspective, and learning to develop a new and different calmness as just three of them. I will keep fighting for you as long as I understand that you want me to. Like everything else, I want to minimize the pain, and as long as the work is worth it, having you in my life, then ill go through it. You’ve taught me to be so much more okay with having emotions, recognizing them, then (attempting) to let them go – at such a deep and attached level. I’ve never been very good at that when I was so close to someone so I just never got close and when I did it destroyed me for a very long time. It’s so much greater than that with you. I’ve also always had an irrational thing for the first time. I was never anyone’s first time for anything and everyone else was always my first time for something. That’s why it’s so hard for me to think of someone being in your bed at school because I haven’t even slept with you on it and it hurts me so deep I don’t have the emotional energy right now to even describe. I want to try sex from the back with you and i want it to be your first try too. But I also finally realized I’ve been the first for a lot of people – just not in the physical way they’ve been for me. I’ve been the first girl they’ve fallen in love with, the first girl who they could talk about their insecurities with, and the first girl they thought was pretty who finally smiled back. And I know it’s immature to feel so attached to the  material aspects and physical world. And I know I gave you and you gave me – I know we created something that was a first in this world. I guess just like every moment with anyone. But ours is really really really special. And so tangible that its become part of us rendering it intangible. And I really want it to keep going and growing.

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And you’re right it’s been a week. In another week time will have smoothed out the kinks even more and so on (as long as we actively work with it and keep letting it flow instead of just time building a back up behind a giant wall)  if we can both commit to each others happiness while understanding our own because ultimately that’s what’s going to keep us connected isn’t it?
I know it will probably be a long time that I can be as physical with someone as you’ll be able to be in a much shorter time , but who knows and thinking about it feels like I just caged myself in 3 inch thick needles. But it’s worth it if I can keep you for longer – not keep you. Share with you.

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Okay yoga is starting I ended up typing everything here instead of jotting down notes I guess. I love you so much

Sent from my iPhone

 

{Kuntsrule stories are written by our readers. We want to read your love letters too – Kuntsrule submission}

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