happy

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I finally feel like i am so close to living the life that I want to live. I don’t know how many girls feel like that a lot. I definitely have not always felt this way. Seriously, it is a miracle for me to be sitting here right now thinking, “I think I am pretty smart…I have been reading good things and learning a lot, I pretty much like my weight, I think I am beautiful, I have learned to cook foods that feel good to eat, I have friends who support me, and I actually enjoy hanging out with my parents,…I am even in a great relationship!”

I guess I wanted to say two things about this. 1) It took me so long to get here that I don’t think I could ever take any of this for granted. And I don’t mean being thankful that I am skinny or don’t have acne anymore…I mean being thankful that I have learned to actually love myself and what I am doing right now. 2) I hope no one ever looks at me and thinks I am always happy. I think that was the worst for me when I felt down on myself…looking at other people and assuming they were perfect and amazing all the time. I am so proud to say that I am a happy person now. I am proud because I worked hard for that. But every day is still challenging. And some sets of days have been almost impossible. Happiness is not perfection, it’s just learning that various imperfections are everyone’s lot in life.

 

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