a small sense of being


i live in a city and i don’t have a lot of space. today it was warm and sunny, so much sunnier than it has been in a long time in my world. sitting on my couch in the morning i didn’t know what to do with myself. i didn’t see any real way i could escape into the fresh air. it made me really sad thinking that there are beaches and open green fields in the world that i couldn’t be in. thank goodness my friend asked if i wanted to come into the back yard with her. our backyard is really tiny and every time i am there i realize how somehow it always seems to be in shadow, but i still wanted to be outside. but today, maybe because of the changing seasons and a different angle of the sun, the whole 10 ft by 4 ft yard was a glowing green heaven of uncut grass and beautiful flowers!! i lay on a bright red picnic blanket and stared up into the trees. the sun filtered through the leaves and flowers making them look like they were glowing green and yellow and pink. bumble bees buzzed passed my face. i heard a lawn mower and some kids fighting down the street. how long had it been since i just laid still and breathed and didn’t feel like there was anything else i would rather be doing? in my perfect world i would make time to be in nature, even the littlest patch of nature, at least once a day, for maybe just like five minutes. to me it feels like a little prayer of thanks to just be. i will try go outside tomorrow too.


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